I'm writing about a bunch of mushy stuff here, I know. A lot of it is sort of platitude-like, and although it's been tremendously helpful for me to carry these ideas, I also know what it's like to be in a place where "just think positive" is not only unhelpful but offensive. Do I think it can help, if you catch things like this at the right moment and in the right frame of mind? Certainly. Do I think it's a cure? Absolutely not. My nastiest year ever was the year I waited for my immigration to clear, and nothing short of that card in the mail made any difference. The stress of worrying about whether or not I'd get to keep my family in the same country was, and I mean this literally, unbearable. I could not have carried it much longer than I did. The thing I needed to be able to start getting to ok was completely out of my control, and that's even acknowledging that the thing I needed to give me my spark back was totally and completely tangible. It's not always tangible.
So for those of you (and I know that among my tiny readership there are several of you) who are still stuck in bad places, I love you, and I'm sorry that it sucks so much, and while I hope I can sometimes catch you in a moment where the things that helped me might help you, when it's about you, it's about you.