I don't have a lot of insights, either for myself or anyone else lately. It's been a big week, beginning with a 48-hour work day and ending with the deflated feeling that always comes when I suddenly find myself no longer waiting for the phone to ring.
There's an interesting thing about my job, I think, in that it's simultaneously empowering and deeply humbling. Yes, I know what I've done was important. Yes, I know people see it that way, and yes, that feels good. But at the same time, there's a sense of complete uncertainty, which reflects the uncertainty felt by the people I work with, I think. It doesn't reflect it like a mirror--I know there's no sense in which my uncertainty and theirs are alike--but it reflects in the way you get a reflection off a just-barely-shiny surface. You can see what's going on, it's just dimmed. My uncertainty goes like this: did I help them? Could someone better have helped more? Am I good enough for this? Did I do the right thing? Did I listen well enough when she was crying, or did she feel brushed off? Was silence the right choice, or should I have said something? Is my intuition, which I have to rely on more than any of my training or experience, working well, or am I way off-base? Will it be ok, really, if I didn't do something someone else might have known to do?
I try, though, to tell myself the same thing I tell anyone who comes to me with that kind of uncertainty: this is normal. It's normal to feel this way. Nothing about this is predictable, and "normal" encompasses about a million possible circumstances that may or may not happen to anybody, but you are not broken. You're doing a good job. Your love is enough. Your presence alone is a lot. It's going to get, if not easier, at least differently hard, and you're going to get strong enough to handle it. You will level up. You will find your strength again. You will. It's ok to feel like you won't, but I promise, it won't be this way forever. It's ok to feel whatever you feel. Allow yourself to feel it, and allow yourself to believe that it's ok to feel it now at the same time you believe you don't have to feel it forever. It's ok.
I think that's a good bunch of things for everybody to remember, really: It's ok. You're not broken. Your strength can and will come back. Ride it out. The only way out is through, and the only way to make it easier is practice. Take your time. Find support and use it. It'll be ok.