On top of my general uncertainty about how to talk about those things, I've been busy, between some doula stuff and some volunteering and some general live goings-on. I've done so much walking this week that last night I found myself more physically exhausted than I think I've ever been in my life--for several days in a row, I reached the point where usually I would have quit or at least taken a break, and instead had to make myself keep going. One of those times was on a run, and I did it on purpose as a challenge, but the other things all involved either getting lost in downtown or having some significant tasks that needed to be completed before I could rest, and I had to do more than I'd planned on doing. I got home at 4:00 yesterday, somehow hazily made supper, and by 7:00 I blearily said to Graham that I needed to get in bed or I was going to end up asleep on the couch. We did a bare-bones cleanup of the supper mess, watched the newest episode of Warehouse 13 on the bedroom TV, and our normal bedtime routine, where Graham reads to me, lasted all of about half a page before I was out. I woke up fourteen hours later, my body so sore it took me not a small number of minutes to get myself out of bed. I've stretched most of the kinks out so far, but I can't remember the last time I was so bone-tired. I think it's entirely possible that I've reached a point in my life where I can no longer walk 40 miles in four days without any preparation and still be fully functional at the end of it. I could do that when I was 19; I'm not entirely sure what happened, apart from, you know, seven years.
The drafts I'm working on include a post that's probably going to end up switched over to a long review of All Natural: A Skeptic's Quest for Health and Happiness in an Age of Ecological Anxiety, by Nathanael Johnson, a post entitled, "Life is Not a Trick Question," and one I'm not entirely sure will ever be published because it's about My Bad Year, which is something I'm not sure I'm comfortable discussing quite so publicly. I keep going back and forth about it, but chances are that last will end up being integrated into several others in bits and pieces, which is probably the more effective way to go over it anyway.
So that's where I've been this week: tired, mostly, and full of half-formed ideas that don't seem to want to turn themselves into even an prototype of a finished product. I did, however, manage to put together some really great dinners this week, including the most delicious thing I've ever made and the best pasta I've ever eaten. Tonight we're having apple and cheddar grilled cheese, which should hopefully also prove pretty awesome, and we've got the ingredients for a couple of Pimm's Cups on hand. I can't think of very many more appropriate Adult Beverages for the May long weekend, can you?